In the Midst of Chaos

Finally, after so long... I'm actually writing another decent entry. :)

Alex texted me today: "Jeanne, tomorrow na ba yung kay Doojie? SM! Bili ka ng bagong phone. Sony ericsson. W350i. Haha :)"

To give you a little bacground of W350i. Cam bought an orange and black one, a few weeks ago. Jen bought the black and purple one, after a while. Now, Alex also has one. Basically, most of my friends (because I don't know who else has it, maybe AM?) have that phone. LOL.

If I still thought of everything like before, I would have switched. This comes along with my mind-set that if people see that I do what they do or have wht they have then it would mean, "I BELONG".

Well, I say goodbye to that thinking now. Maybe people should see that I can now stand up for myself. That's how I'll be able to measure our friendship anyway. If they still accept me despite my odd-ness. :)

And, I believe that more than the physical, our friendship is what truly matters. That's that.

***
A quote I heard in the movie "A Cinderella Story" could relate to this.
"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."


Jeanne

I think there's no point in holding grudges because at the end of the day, everyone still made their own share of mistakes.

None of us is made perfectly by the Almighty. We are all bound to commit errors, mistakes, failures, evils, however you want to name it. We can never expect a person to please us fully, but we also don't have the right to reject them for not pleasing us. We might just as well be neutral about the whole damn thing. It's always better to resolve things by letting them be since we don't have control over them anyway. Finally, It would have since been better if we all have just lived our life peacefully.

The big question would always lead to: why would we even want to have hard feelings with someone whom we can't even avoid? There is just no point. None at all. Because he/she will still be who he/she used to be and we just have to accept it. Accepting is not hard. We learned to accept our dirty little selves in the first place.


xoxo,
Jeanne


P.S.

I call for PEACE.

Let us all wave our white flags. :)

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hands way up high
We will never say bye.. no, no, no
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people who lost their GRANDMOTHERS
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show becuase
YOU LOVED ME and obviously
THERE'S SO MUCH MORE LEFT TO SAY
If you were with me today face to face


I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD HURT LIKE THIS
AND EVERYDAY LIFE GOES ON LIKE
"I WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU FOR A WHILE"
MISS YOU BUT I TRY NOT TO CRY
AS TIME GOES BY
AND IT'S TRUE THAT YOU'VE REACHED A BETTER PLACE
STILL I'D GIVE THE WORLD TO SEE YOUR FACE
AND BE RIGHT HERE NEXT TO YOU
BUT IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GONE TOO SOON
NOW THE HARDEST THING TO DO IS SAY BYE BYE


AND YOU NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO SEE HOW GOOD I'VE DONE
AND YOU NEVER GOT TO SEE ME BACK AT NUMBER 1
I WISH THAT YOU WERE HERE TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER
I WISH THAT WE COULD SPEND THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER

I remeber when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave me that I held so tight
I THOUGH YOU WERE SO STRONG
YOU'D MAKE IT THROUGH WHATEVER
IT'S SO HARD TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE GONE FOREVER.


I love you so much Lola. Though I know we were not able to spend as much time, you already had, have and always will occupy a special place in my heart. I will miss the "appears" before I leave your room, the jokes and the kwentos. Maybe I did expect you to live longer, but I don't blame you for choosing to leave. You are in a better place and I am happy for you. Till we see each other again. I LOVE YOU.

Jeanne


* P.S. After a year and a half, I am finally able to let my feelings out.

Sometimes, we just reach the point in our lives wherein we simply accept the fact that we cannot have all things the way we want them to. We can't expect everything to go the way we planned it, and we can never expect things to turn out the way we hoped for.

Today, as I was surfing through the net and once again, adding potential buyers in my multiply account, I couldn't help but realize that even though I really wanted things to work for me and for the business, it just wouldn't happen. I guess, we have to endure the fact that things aren't always going to follow our lead, and we should take time to sincerely understand how things would work for us. We are not magical cretaures who can just make things happen with just a flick of a wand. We are normal people created by God to work hard for everything we want to have. Reality check: every coin in our purse is the very result of all the patience, efforts, stress and frustrations we have gone through.

With every minute and every second that passes, I realize more and more how important it is to value every cent we own becauce every piece of metal coin we have in our fist is acquired by consecutive difficulties.


xoxo,
Jeanne

Sometimes we get too overwhelmed by the new things that come in; we fail to take a second look on those that we have known before.

This happened very randomly.

I was surfing through the net. I learned more about him. I see him differently.

I guess what made him special, compared to all the other guys I know, is his unique way of saying I am a MAN that exists in this childish world maturely.

I don't like like him that much though. I just admire him for sticking up to what he really likes and disregards all the negative infuences around him. That's the kind of man this world needs. :)


xoxo,
Jeanne

Most of the time, we barely notice the things that are always readily available to us. We take them for granted just because we know that they are still going to be there the next day. Truth of the matter is, everything in this world is made to be rotten. Everything is bound to an end, and none of them can actually last forever.

I can't believe that despite my knowledge of this fact, I still take some of things for granted.


A few minutes ago, I broke my slim black hairband. I knew, even before that happened, that I love it because I already lost it before, yet I still took little care of it. I put it in my head as if it is some unbreakable plastic that would last till I get old. Unfortunately, my very inconsiderate ways ended it poor life.

I know I shouldn't really fuss about it becuase it's only a 40 peso headband, but I guess its sentimental value is the one that caused the hurt and the flicker of pain in my heart. I couldn't get it out of my head so I really had to blog about it. This would lead me to another discussion later on. As of now, I am going to continue my story about my dear one. I searched for that slim black headband for a long time. I first got a white one and I was desperate to get hold of a black, so went to almost every Girlshoppe store I knew just so I could I find one. Luckily, I was able to get the last piece in Rockwell. With that alone, I should really have took good care of it becase it would cause me another round of trouble to get another one. But, I didn't. I am seriously disappointed with myself right now. I could barely take responsiblity on those small things then what more on the bigger ones?

Anyway, the whole point is, we should never really take things for granted no matter how small or unnoticeable they are because at some point in our lives, we would greatly mourne over its lose.


Next discussion. How come people are starting to get too attached to material things? A headband? Common man. We got a lot more things to be hurt about, yet these very little pieces in our lives already causes us pain. Can it be caused by the possiblity that we are becoming more materialistic? Or are we simply degrading the level of humans in this world?



xoxo,
Jeanne